


The Corpse Bride

by xxbunnykissesxx



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Corpse Bride (2005) Fusion, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Minor Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Non-Graphic Violence, background benkliego, i never read the comics so mr.pennycrumb is just my dog, i wrote this instead of sleeping for like 2 weeks, some parts might not make sense because i wrote this hella out of order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:07:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27300199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxbunnykissesxx/pseuds/xxbunnykissesxx
Summary: The night of his engagement, Reginald Hargreeves V goes missing after being spotted with a mystery woman in a bridal gown.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	The Corpse Bride

**Author's Note:**

> fuck it corpse bride fiveya

In the country of England, on a rocky coastline where a rather large village sat lurking in the fog, stood the home of the affluent Hargreeves. An oddity of a family that was kept shrouded in mystery and secrecy. From the perimeter of the estate, one could neither see nor hear the happenings on the grounds. Impossible was the task of counting the inhabitants; the bodies that roamed were unable to be identified from across the distance that was at all times kept from the tall wrought iron fence. The ability of the family to cut contact with the rest of the world rest solely in the fact that only three people were ever to step foot in the mansion.

Within the dark confines of the Hargreeves manor, the only sound one could hear was the somber plucking of a piano. Out of tune and having gone untouched, sour notes rolled out under the command of a young man's pale fingers. Reginald Hargreeves V, differentiated from his father as merely "Five" sat hunched over the keys. He had packed and readied his sparse belongings in preparation for the evening's trip.

Five was arranged to participate in what was sure to be an advantageous marriage. Sir Reginald Hargreeves IV had strove for propriety in all forms, but no pursuit could erase the status of nouveau riche that plagued the manufacturing mogul's reputation. The older man had seen an opportunity in the misfortune that had befallen the family of a friend of an old contact. After years of business losses and squandering small fortunes on lavish vanity parties, the Adams were left weeks from destitution. Rather than face a shame that would haunt the rest of their existence, they had decided to marry off their only daughter in a scheme to prevent the news of their poverty.

As he set down his case, an odd feeling of sentimentality had stolen through him, unsure exactly of his father's plans, but knowing instinctively that something was coming to an end. Seeing as he had several hours to spare, he had decided to humor the whims, touring the house and finally coming to a rest at the piano that he had been forced to learn to play as a child.

For hours he sat playing. The scales and classical pieces that had remained as untouched as the piano they belonged with coming back in a rush, urging him to gain speed until his fingers were flying against the ivory keys. It was hypnotic. He wondered idly why he had given it up in the first place. It was equally likely to have been to anger his father or to more fiercely pursue the sciences. Now that he was at his discretion to come to it as he pleased, the activity seemed to have gained a dignified allure.

"Five, Mister Hargreeves has asked me to tell you to prepare for departure." The woman who had been nanny, governess, and housekeep gave him an ever-unchanged absent smile. Five rose from the seat bench, crossing the room and turning to look at the woman who had raised him. "Thank you, Grace. Farewell." Who could say, other than Reginald, if they would ever see one another again. He hurried to the bottom of the stairwell so that he arrived before his father. The carriage ride would last well into the morning, but if Reginald was made to wait even a moment there was no doubt that every second of the trip would be filled with a lecture on punctuality. Thankfully, Five was able to load their luggage and return to the grand entrance hall before his father had arrived. 

"Reginald Hargreeves V." Reginald IV barked in greeting "I take it that you understand the magnitude of our expedition. You remember the values I have instilled in you and will do your upmost to meet mine and the expectations of our hosts. Am I clear?" 

"Yes, sir." It seemed he may get his ten hour lecture yet.

"Very well." He stalked to the door, trusting that Five should know to not keep him waiting.

The dirt roads of the English countryside were not ideal for any activity, much less writing. It seemed as though with every other number the carriage jerked, sliding the quill across the page. It was a frustration to have such an uninterrupted stretch of time that was unable to be filled with his work. Sleep would be forbidden until Reginald permitted it. Giving an imperceptible sigh, Five reached his hand inside of his luggage and grabbed a book at random. Through the fabric of the enclosed carriage, the world around them shrunk as the darkness slowly pressed against them on all sides. Father was still not asleep, checking and rechecking the journal that was ever-present within his hand. "Reginald V," Reginald IV said as he opened an ornate envelope with a cracked seal and slid out an inked paper, "you are to memorize the contents of this page in preparation for the wedding." Vows. He was to memorize the vows. And after he memorized these vows, after he said these vows, he would be married, and he would be tethered to this person for the rest of his life. It was real then. Before, the wedding had been a plan of his father's, but it was swiftly becoming the remainder of his life. Five turned his head to look past the cloth that enclosed them. Was, perhaps, it getting darker, or had the darkness beginning to abate? 

  
  


As the carriage moved into the large village that was home to the journey's destination Five fully woke from the light sleep he had allowed himself. The journey, along with this chapter of life, was drawing to a close. Stepping out into the soggy morning, the first thing he noticed was grey. It was a disappointment. Perhaps, he had thought, the world would not be so dull once away from the coastal village where threatening overcast stole the sun and imbued everything with the same dead undertone. The large house, which was nearly a castle, lent to the dreadful veneer. Surely it had once been a picture of opulence, but now the crumbling gothic estate was a monument to the failing wealth of the ancestral owners. It was a dying animal with bones laid bare and rattling. 

A small butler stood in the light drizzle in order to lead the guests and announce their presence to the masters of the home. "Mister Hargreeves. Mister Hargreeves." He bowed low in a show of respect. Reginald and Five both said nothing and gave a small nod to signal that they were ready to continue. The small man struggled to open the heavy doors into a darkly lit and lavishly decorated grand room. "Mister Reginald Hargreeves IV and Mister Reginald Hargreeves V!" Two figures slank out of a shadowy doorway to stand in front of the three men. An austere woman with a sunken, bony face that matched the stiffness of the confines of lace and bindings that adorned her. Her husband, squat and pug-like, puffed his chest in a way that accentuated his already spherical outline.

"Mister Hargreeves," Said the tall woman in a nasally, haughty voice, "A pleasure. We have much to finalize. Please, join us in the tea room while we wait." 

"Indeed. I expect that our business shall finish being conducted before the rehearsal."

"You are correct. Everything shall be in place for the wedding." With that, Five's future in-laws turned stiffly while their butler hurried to open the door behind them.

The five of them moved to the adjacent hall that would lead to the room. Forgotten, Five fell behind. As he stood in the doorway, he turned for a last look back, and movement at the top of a steep staircase caught his eye. It was a young woman. The lack of servants in the home left no other answers. This woman was to be his wife. She was exquisitely beautiful. Sharp lips rested above a pointed chin, framed by severe cheekbones and glossy chestnut hair. Large, sly eyes watched him knowingly from the top of the banister. Five was struck by the genetic miracle that must have occurred to shape a halfway decent face from her parent's features. After a moment, she floated down the stairs, a delicate, pale hand sliding alongside the railing. Coming to a rest next to Five, it was impossible not to notice her lack of height against his excess of it. She had seemed tall, her slender body having the stretched proportions of a woman who, while shorter than Five, had a much greater stature. The delicate body seemed caged by the muted browns of the conservative high-collared dress she wore. Even from where he stood a foot away, it was impossible not to notice the way the edges dug into her skin, corset laces stealing any semblance of slack that was to be found in an outfit one size too small. It was excessive to try and force such an already tiny body to compress onto itself so unnaturally. It was a miracle she could even breathe, much less give him a blinding smile that screamed classical beauty. 

"You must be my new husband," She extended her dainty hand, allowing it to be brought to his lips "Delores Adams."

"Five Hargreeves."

"Five? What an unconventional name. I must say I'm surprised my parents would entertain the notion of marrying me to a family willing to break with the norms."

"Desperate times." The tense look on her face urged him to cover up his faux pas and end that particular line of conversation. "I was named after my father, but as I'm the fifth in my family to bear our name, I prefer Five for simplicity's sake."

Delores shot him a grateful look before adding "I was named after my relatives as well. My paternal grandmother. It is tradition to be named after a relative. After our parent's names, we will be hard pressed for something suitable for our children."

Distain settled into Five's chest. He had not thought of children, had never wanted them, had thought them a distraction from his work in the fields of science. Of course he was expected to father children. Neither he nor Delores had siblings to carry on the family name, as well as the impropriety and shame of remaining childless. Five could not, at this point, stomach the thought of a child born of their wedlock, and so hoped that Delores would allow him the same graces that he had afforded her. It turns out that was not necessary, as he was saved by the awkward conversation by unpleasant means. 

"WHAT IMPROPRIETY!" Delores' mother shrieked from the top of her lungs, striding forward to grab her wrist and pull her away to be scolded. Reginald scowled, but was pleased that Delores was taking the blame and refused to draw attention to Five. The next hour was spent at the end of a long table, far enough that the two fiances would not be capable of hearing their parents nor speak to each other until, finally, the parents stood and announced that the butler would now lead them to the chapel for the rehearsal.

  
  


Dramatically curved windows lined the stone walls of the estate's small chapel, reflecting the dim candlelight dancing on the surfaces. An old, hunched priest stood behind a wooden podium. The minister that would conduct the wedding. Decaying stone benches held the small party of witnesses. In the hour that had passed, only one other guest had arrived. A man with hooded eyes and curly hair streaked with grey who claimed to be a distant relative. The air was buzzing with irritation at the rehearsal that was quickly falling apart. 

"Again!" barked the man from in front of the podium, pointing a bony finger just out of Five's reach. He was going to snap that finger the second the old fucker got near enough. 

"Repeat after me! With this hand I shall lift your sorrows."  
"With this hand I shall lift your sorrows." Five lifted Delores' hand carefully.

"Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine."

"Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine." As Five moved to tilt the neck of the bottle, it knocked against the side of the glass, shattering it against the floor and spilling dark red wine. The tension broke.

"THE BOY DOES NOT WANT TO BE MARRIED!"

And maybe he didn't. Five was a genius. Surgical accuracy and cutting wit had led him to exceed all expectation placed on him. Fencing, marksmanship, arithmetic, language, martial arts, science, and a host of other skills that would daunt the most accomplished men in Europe, perhaps even the world. To be eluded by vows? The only explanation was subconscious. A way to rebel against father, or perhaps keep any person he was not already familiar with at arms length. The only consolation to Five's life was that his father would soon be dead, leaving him wealth and solitude to do with what he saw fit. This woman would be a tie to his father, a stranglehold on Five's life from beyond the grave. In the end, though, Five would marry Delores despite the fact that given the choice, he would not have her. His father would have his way. With this thought, Five kept a cool indifference to the mistakes he had made through the rehearsal; they would be of no lasting consequence.

"Maybe it would be best to take a small break." Delores' voice was strained and had taken on a begging quality despite her regular composure.

"That would be best." Delores' Even Delores' mother had to be aware that her daughter was on the verge of fainting.

"We shall reconvene in an hour!"

Unwilling to listen to Reginald berate him for an hour, Five marched resolutely to the door, past the gate, and onto the trail that lead to the surrounding forests. Thick darkness had once again settled during the time spent in the manor and a frosty wind was tearing through the bare trees. Slowly, the forest floor became too thick to follow the trail. Five continued in a straight line until he came to a small clearing lit only by the tiny sliver of moon hanging in the sky. "Shit. Shit. Fuck." There was no way to escape this. He would have to go back and force himself to say those tacky fucking vows to a woman he would have no choice but to spend the rest of his life with. 

"With this hand," he began in a mocking voice he had half a mind to use at the actual wedding, "I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine." He ripped a dead branch from a hanging tree to enact pouring a bottle, tearing it once again to acquire a piece the size of a long candle. "With this candle, I will light your way in darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine." He shoved the ring onto a crooked branch protruding from the ground. His hand settled there for a moment before moving to claim the ring. His fingers carded through the closely grown branches. The wind whipped fiercely, giving pause when the branches twitched from the force. Then, without a second warning, the branches closed in an iron grip around his hand, pulling him forward with savage force and enclosing his arm deep within the frozen earth. Adrenaline rushed through Five as he struggled to jerk his arm out from within the ground. The branches held on ever as tightly, digging roughly into the skin, drawing thick drops of sticky blood. The slick of his own blood served to loosen the grip that held him in place, and with a final herculean effort, Five dragged his arm into the night air above.

Five reached instinctively for his knife while putting distance between him and the creature that had held him. He found that it had fallen out of his pocket during the altercation. It was too late to go back, the creature was already rising from the earth, hunched over and crawling on the ground to pull itself from the dirt. Five ran. There was no denying that this creature was capable of killing him. It should not even have been possible to force their arms through the dirt the way that it did. He would have a fighting chance only with a weapon. A knife, an axe, a sword, anything. And even then he might not come out alive. Five chanced a look back. He could not see the monster, but redoubled his efforts in any case. Lights were visible through the dense trees. The bridge that led into town came into view. It was more than Five could have hoped for. Suddenly, his left foot caught on a hidden tree root, and Five fell to the forest floor. Five was down for not even two seconds when he clawed at the tree to propel himself forward. His heart pounded in his chest in time with the sharp jolts of pain emanating from the ankle he assumed was broken as he rushed towards the bridge.

He could hear the snap of branches under the creature's feet as it gained on its injured prey. "Fuck. Fuck" Five scrambled, turning towards the end of the bridge, prepared to fight vainly to his dying breath when a small girl came into view from the forest. "Get out of here!" She would not stand a chance against a creature of such strength. "Something's out here! LEAVE!" Anger swelled underneath Five's skin. She hadn't even bothered to speed up when she was warned. Something was wrong. The lights at the ends of the bridge illuminated her dirty and torn dress. She was blue from the cold. Skeletal. The veil on her head whipped in the fierce wind and exposed the bone of her arm. How was she still walking? Standing even? The girl- woman- was upon him now. Hands of exposed bone held his face. "I do." Cold drenched him when their lips pressed together and the world around him became darkness.

  
  


Five came to on a small bed smothered with blankets. Soft light filled the room, making the cluttered space airy and dreamy. He was warm, could not tell where the air ended and his skin began, but was content to lie there under the soft pile that had enveloped him. Memories washed over his brain as he stared into space with half open eyes. None of what happened was concerning. He was safe, obviously found and taken home. His injuries had been treated, the sharp pain of the night before absent and the memory fuzzed over. He turned lazily to stare at a doorway issuing sounds of bustling. Who knows how much time passed before a small woman bustled in while taming her long hair into a simple ponytail.

"Grace?"

"Ah! You're awake. I have to leave, but stay in bed as long as you want. I have to go but I'll be back in a few hours. You'll be okay here, right?" He nodded when she turned to him for assurance. She stooped to press a soft kiss to his cheek. It was like kissing the cold marble of a statue. 

"I know it can be hard to adjust, but if you're up for it I wanted to introduce you to my siblings tonight." 

Five nodded again. His mind felt sluggish and struggled to make any sense of the words she was saying. The fact that he was not in immediate danger was all that he could be bothered to gather in this state. The woman looked at him underneath the fluffy pile one last time and smiled fondly before she was closing the door softly behind her. Five decided not to linger on her face as he stared blankly at the dust floating in the air, welcoming sleep whenever it came.

A rattling lock pulled Five from a dreamless sleep. The windows were dark now, sharper than the light from early in the day. Muffled footsteps came closer until the door to the bedroom was being pushed open. The woman burst through the door holding an instrument case to her chest with both arms and immediately set bustling about as Five watched. It was the first time he had the capacity to take note of her appearance aside from the bridge. She was petit. He could already tell he stood heads above her. It was a wonder if she was the person who had dragged him into the cozy room. Blue tinged skin opened near her cheek to show muscle and bone before drawing attention down to lips purpled from something other than non-existent cold. Even stranger was the blue hair that tumbled down her back and shoulders in tangles. She was dressed to kill in a thick, sweeping off-white dress that ended just above her ankles with a matching veil that scraped the floor as she walked and a set of white gloves and heeled shoes.

"Hey. Are you feeling any better yet? I wish I could give you something, but there's not much you can do after dying. Moving around might help a little."

Five had thought his head was clear since waking up from the long sleep, but apparently not. "Dead?" His confusion was turning itself into irritation. Question that should have been asked hours ago were now piling inside hid mind. He quickly tried to organize them in matter of importance, in hindsight agreeing with the first one that had involuntarily come out. There was no room to spare on a thought about the sheepish look on the face of the woman who was coming to sit down at the bedside. 

"Well, I mean, you are dead. Kind of?" She took a moment to think about it "It's complicated. You're in the Land of the Dead, but not really dead."

"I'm in limbo. I'm alive, but in Hell."

"Right. You're in the process of dying. It would be like a coma. Technically you have a mortal body, but your soul no longer inhabits it."

"And you're dead. We're in Hell together."

"Yes. But I'm truly dead. My mortal body was killed years ago."

"So how did I see you that night? How could you touch me if you have no body? You were there."

"I made a vow. Do you believe in ghosts?"

"Why would I believe in ghosts?"

"Why would you be talking to a corpse?" It was a fair question.

"Okay, let's say ghosts are real. That doesn't explain how you have a body if you're dead."

"The concepts are the same. A ghost is a soul that returns to the Land of the Living if it has a purpose that is strong enough. Since my body hasn't moved or decomposed yet, I'm able to enter it. It's as though I'm possessing myself."

"What was so important that you wanted to come back for?" The thought of the woman needing something so badly that one could cling to life after death was something that Five found himself curious about. The corpse did not seem like the caricatures of passion or misery that were long associated with ghosts. Her cold lips tilted upwards in an embarrassed half smile, eyes pulling away. He was sure that if she had blood it would be rushing to color her cheeks.

"I came back for my husband."

The woman straightened and stood. She shook herself slightly as if to remove the tenseness of the their conversation and moved to hunch over a small vanity in the corner in order to fiddle with her hair. 

"We should hurry. I told everyone that I had good news. I told Klaus we'd be by at around 11, so we're not too late. I should warn you that they can be a bit much at first, but you'll get used to it."

Five could tell that she was no longer willing to answer questions. For now he would consider her answers. Dead yet not dead. Body alive and soul in Hell. She had wanted him alive, though, and had been willing to talk. Five would stay with her until he could manage to figure out how to get out of this mess. He did as she instructed, standing tentatively on the ankle that had been broken and finding that there was no physical pain from the action, only stiffness. His clothes were still tattered from the case in the forest. The woman had made no comment on his appearance despite the implicit importance of acceptance from the family. Long slashes in the ivory fabric that adorned the body of the corpse served as confirmation that Five was appropriate. He watched her sit at the vanity and tweak her appearance, filling the time with stretching and rolling his joints. He came to a pause when she finally stood. Blushing, she took Five's hand and ushered him out the door. It was nothing like what the living had theorized. The dark of night lent an otherworldly quality to the bright colored lights that cut sharply through the thick cover. Skeletons and corpses crowded the streets, creating a whirling, seething mass rising from the fog that covered the worn streets. Hundreds of noises flooded his ears, blending together in the background while the loudest and most distinct stuck against the inside of his head. He had never seen anything like it. There was more here than he had ever imagined in his life confined to the Hargreeves Manor. 

The woman led them into the crowd, turning corners and ducking into alleyways until she came to a halt in front of a seedy door with peeling green paint. With a deep breath, she pulled open the door and began her immediate decent downward. The small basement apartment glowed a subdued green from the frosty glass lamp that sat in a corner, illuminating mixed-matched furniture and a small bar. Five people lazed about the cozy room already with drinks in hand, engaged in speculative conversation. 

"Guys," the corpse called to gather the attention of the people in the room. Heads turned to flit between the two of them standing in the doorway. "I got married." She said sheepishly, unable to meet the eyes of her family. 

"VANYA!" A brown skinned woman scrambled up from leaning against the largest man Five had ever seen to come bounding towards the corpse -Vanya- to sweep her off her feet and twirl her around in excitement, perfect honeyed ringlets and plush tulle swirling in the air.

"You didn't tell me! I swear to god if I don't get to throw the party, I will  _never_ forgive you!" Vanya laughed and the taller woman slowly began to set her down, teetering on her feet as the momentum was lost. 

"So, who's the lucky fella?" asked a theatrical looking man with his long legs slung over the legs of a plush chair. There was a pause as Vanya hesitated. 

"Five. Five Hargreeves." Five stepped in.

"You don't know his name? That's a great way to start a marriage." Scoffed a long haired man toying with a knife.

The large man on the sofa had concern and disapproval written all over his face. "Vanya, is that really safe? Marrying some random man doesn't seem like a good idea. What do you even know about him?" 

"You guys worry to much. I, for one, am happy for Vanie." Turning to address Five he lamented "You have got  _no_ idea how hard it is to find a necrophiliac willing to commit."

"Does it count as necrophelia if we're all dead."  
"Who says I'm dead." That put a pause to the conversation as they turned to consider him for a moment.

"What do you mean 'not dead'. Is that even possible?" The large man looked at the tall woman still beside Vanya as if she would have the answer. 

"Well he's here." She was somewhat baffled as well. "I could ask around about it."

"It probably wouldn't make a difference. If his body doesn't have it's physical needs met, he'll die soon anyway." A man clad in all black reasoned as he stood fixing a sickly green liquid at the small bar. He set two more glasses down and gestured at Vanya. She took Five by the hand and led him across the room to sit on rickety stools.

The large man gave a sigh. "What's done is done. We'll just have to live with it."

"Well thanks for the vote of confidence, Luther."

"There's nothing wrong with it, it just seems a little too fast. We don't know the guy."

"Yeah, and we've seen what happened last time." 

"This is  _nothing_ like that. What could he possibly want me for? I don't have money, or property, or a family, and I'm  _dead_ . Why would Five marry me if he doesn't love me?"  
"Back to the necrophilia angle, I see."

"Jesus fuck, Klaus, now is not the time."

"Oh, so what I say is worse than listening to you having a screaming match about, guess what, the same fucking thing?"

"This is more serious than having sex! She  _married_ him!" Luther was desperate for his two siblings to understand the gravity of the action.

"This is getting us nowhere. Klaus is right, fighting isn't going to solve anything." The man behind the bar, taking the lead in hopes that his siblings would follow, "I'm Ben." Ben held out his hand to shake Five's. He had a surprisingly strong grip for such a friendly face. "

"Over there is my husband, Klaus, and our boyfriend, Diego." 

"You can get married in hell?"

"Fuck yeah. What are they gonna do? Kill us for our sins."

"This isn't exactly the afterlife anyone was promised," Vanya explained, "People don't really care enough to think of us as degenerates."

"Us?" Luther cut in.

"You've been here for 300 years, how are you the last to find out?"

"I didn't want to assume."

"You assumed she didn't." Five added before sipping his margarita.

"Anyway," The woman desperately wanted to get the attention off Luther before he could ruin her good impression, "I'm Allison, and this is my husband, Luther. We are so excited for you and Vanya. What are you thinking of doing for your wedding? We should probably make a date to start planning-"

"I think meeting everyone, just right now, would be good." The woman deflated at her sister's words for a second before shaking it off. Details were better considered over periods of time anyway.

Five's attention was torn from the sister when a writhing mass of green conjured out of thin air in his peripheral vision. The extremities that had formed were sliding out of Ben, wrapping around whatever was in reach. Klaus had noticed the odd expression on Five's face at the sight.

"Weird shit happens when you're a virgin sacrifice to a sea monster"

"Being a virgin had nothing to do with it."

"But you were a virgin."

"I was born into a death cult that practiced human sacrifice, Diego, forgive me if getting laid wasn't high on my to-do list."

Diego brought his bottle of beer to his mouth, deciding not to respond.

"So, no that we've all settled down and come together as a family, I say we ruin it with Monopoly."  
"No. That's banned. We threw your copy out. Why would you even suggest that." Ben instead found a pack of cards, knowing that the siblings would descend into chaos the second they were asked to do anything long term.

The hours wore on as the family settled on games of cards, most of which were won by Five and Allison. Vanya stifled a yawn and Five's gaze was drawn to the exhausted look on her face. He leaned close to her ear and whispered "Let's go home." Vanya shot him a grateful smile before saying her goodbyes, making later dates, and receiving last congratulations. At the doorway, Vanya stopped dead in her tracks. "Fuck." She slammed her palm against the side of her head, "I forgot something. Do you want to stay here while I go get it? It'll only be a few minutes, but it's in the opposite way. You could probably fit in another card game." Five considered, but in the end decided that he needed some time to think about the events of the last day. "I'll just wait outside." Vanya nodded and turned briskly in the direction of her new destination and Five sat on a wide set of stairs on the street outside of the alley that housed Klaus' apartment.

It was bright down here. If the Land of the Dead was 'down'. Despite not being able to feel the air, Five knew it was cold. Vanya had been right. Her adopted family was a lot to take in, but Five found that he didn't particularly mind. Life with Reginald had been filled with cold conversation and rigorous training. Grace had provided what little comfort she could, but she had never been a friend or a member of the meager family. She was an employee despite the years spent together, aligned with Reginald before Five, always. Vanya's family wasn't like that. There was nothing binding them together other than that they fit, that they  _wanted_ to spend their lives putting up with one another. He could imagine how Vanya had come to be a part of it all. It would have been Klaus or Allison, seeing her newly dead. She would be confused, unable to make sense of what had happened, unable to absorb the shock of waking up in the afterlife. The sibling would feel pity for her. Try to comfort her and coax out what had happened. They would take her home, where the respective husband would be equally concerned, and set her to sleep on the couch, letting her forget her troubles until the morning when she would face them all again. He felt fond of the family and grateful that they had somehow found Vanya. She didn't deserve to go through it alone. 

"Do you mind if I sit here?" Allison drew him out of reverie. He slid over to indicate that he heard her request.

"I needed to talk to you."

"About what?"

"I want to make sure you know what you've gotten into. I didn't want to say anything around Vanya, but trust me, the last thing any of us will do is let another asshole hurt her. I just want to make sure we're on the same page so nothing like that happens to her again."

"Someone hurt Vanya?" Five scowled at the thought, his chest tightening in anger as he absorbed Allison's words. "Who?" The woman met him with a long, calculating gaze. 

"There's a long history to it." When Five didn't stop her, Allison took a deep breath and steeled herself. "Vanya was alone her entire life. She was the only child of wealthy parents who ignored her unless they were using her as a trophy piece. The only time anyone ever cared about her was when she was playing violin so she fell for the first person that wanted her. Her parents wouldn't let them get married, which was when they peaked, but that bastard convinced her to elope because ' _no one was ever going to love her as much as him',"_ The venom in Allison's voice burned just as bitter under Five's skin. "So he tells her to meet him in the forest with a bag jewels, leaves her waiting there for hours, and when he finally gets there, he murders her and steals from her. Dead. Body." Allison was breathing heavy from between clenched teeth, barely able to make out the last words through the anger building in her throat. Similarly, Five's muscles were clenched like a steel trap and he felt his own nails digging into skin, drawing sticky blood out of half-moon indentions. Five was no prince, but the thought that someone could treat Vanya like that was revolting. They both took deep breaths in order to compose themselves. Allison studied Five and at last looked approvingly at him, as though his anger for the wrongs Vanya had suffered had vindicated him. 

"You see why we didn't like you?" She attempted a small joke, trying to create a more comfortable atmosphere.

"It's fine. I would hate me."

It was the chronicles of Vanya's life that had pushed him over the edge. He wanted to believe that he wasn't the same as that monster, that he wouldn't hurt Vanya the way he had.

"I married her by accident." 

That caught Allison by surprise after their brief moment of solidarity in righteous anger, but she set quickly back to rebuilding her guard.

"You don't marry someone by 'accident', Five. I could understand if it was a mistake, I've been there, but at the very least take some responsibility for what you've done." Five cut her off.

"I was practicing my vows in the forest and thought she was a tree."

Allison was not one to be speechless, but this was not the way that she had envisioned this conversation.

"What are you going to do."

"I don't know."

"Well, do you want to stay? Are you going to tell her? Do you even want to be married? And what about that other girl?" The rapid fire questions did nothing but heighten Five's already acute irritation. 

"I don't know! Is there even a way to get back when you're dead?"

"There might be, but that doesn't help us if you can't figure out what else you want to do. It'll take care of getting there, but you need to decide what to do after. Are you staying with Vanya?"

"I'm supposed to marry Delores," The woman was on the verge of destitution. Marriage would be her only saving grace, and if she was not married before the family's dire situation became public knowledge, she would never claw her way back into the high society that had fostered her, "I made a commitment."

"And then you made the biggest commitment of your life to Vanya. She's your wife, Five."

"I know that. It doesn't mean that Delores isn't waiting for me. If I don't show up she'll be married off to the first person who can buy her!"

Allison studied him for a moment.

"So you chose Delores."

"I'm not choosing anyone. I just need to fix things with Delores."

"You  _just_ said you don't know anything. I'll get you upstairs, but you need to figure out the rest. Luther's probably waiting for me." Allison stood without sparing Five a glance. The course of the night had left Allison in a state of emotional exhaustion and she was grateful to put it behind her.

  
  


How was Five to know that mere hours after being spirited away, in the Land of the Living, the wheels were already turning.

"Preposterous!" The severe woman shrieked at the man standing at the door. "Everything hinges on that boy! His father has agreed to it, our daughter is to be married!"

"It's true, miss. I saw him. He was standing on the edge of the bride with a woman in a wedding gown, he's eloped, I'm sure of it!"

"This is unacceptable," a look of disbelief took hold of her face "We were saved." Her hallow voice echoed in the high ceilings of the gathering room.

"Reginald is a fool. A woman like your daughter deserves nothing but the finest in life. If I had a woman like that, I would lavish her in riches beyond compare." 

"How wonderful for your lady wife to have a husband such as yourself."

"Alas, I have no wife. I was engaged some years ago, but she was, uh, cruelly ripped away from me."

"A shame. But, perhaps, some good may yet come of it." The woman's calculating gaze found the man's. "The Hargreeves boy has turned his back on my daughter. She is now eligible to be married immediately. I assume that you have taken an interest, Mr...."

"Peabody. Leonard Peabody. And you assume correctly, Madam. It would be an honor to marry your daughter, even in light of such... unfortunate circumstances."

"Excellent. The rehearsal shall begin at 10:00 PM on the dot, and the marriage will be held the day following." The conversation was cut immediately when she finished, her brisk manner leaving no room for argument as she strode across the richly furnished room to the door.

"Mrs. Adams," Said Leonard, trying to stall her to discuss arrangements further, "If I might ask, what of your deal with Reginald Hargreeves?"

"The deal was broken the second that man's scoundrel son left my daughter at the alter." With that final message she crossed the threshold.

  
  


It was less than half an hour before Vanya returned to where Five was waiting. She was panting, as though she had run the distance back to him from her errand. "Sorry I took so long! I have something that I wanted to give you. A wedding present." Vanya's eyes were filled in equal measure with excitement and trepidation as she handed over a large box tied with a silk ribbon. Five had seen this box before. It was the one that Vanya carried into the apartment before preparing for drinks with the family. Five held the box close to his ear and shook. The muffled sound that came was of many hard, loose objects clanking together. He set it on his lap and pulled the ribbon off. Within the box rested a pile of bones. He would go along with it. Before he could express the correct amount of gratitude to Vanya, the bones gave a lurch and flew together, settling in the shape of a small dog. "Mr.Pennycrumb!" It was a shock to see the dog after so many years. His only true companion in the care of the Hargreeves family. Grace had allowed him to keep the terrier that wandered into the extensive yard so long as Reginald did not forbid it. Five had tried his hardest to keep Reginald from the dog, but the man knew all the activities conduct in the house. In all honesty, Five was unsure that the man had found the dog itself worthy of note, more interested on the effect it had on Five. The dog was a means to study the effects of emotional bonding, treated like an experiment much like every other aspect of Five's life. It came as no surprise that the last test conducted on the dog had been on the effects it would have to force Five to kill the creature himself. Five had tried to ruin Reginald's experiment by showing no signs of weakness in the act or after. He blocked the memory and any feeling associated with it, and if he was unable to, he would justify it as an act of mercy. The dog had been fully grown when they met, was too old to handle the grueling winters, too frail for the times when Five was unable to leave the house for weeks at a time for feedings, too dependent to live his life where his last moments could be spent in pain and fear in the mouth of a predator. In the end, Five had chosen to sedate him to the point of unconsciousness and drown him. 

He was glad, now, that he had not taken his father's suggestion of a gun to the head. Mr.Pennycrumb's fully in tact skull held the traces of the familiar wide eyes and disarming smile. He waggled around in circles before bumping into Five's leg, pawing at it in demand to be held. Five lifted him up to sit on his lap where he wiggled to expose his ribs to be pet, which Five obliged. Suspicion crept through him, threatening the happiness of seeing his only friend. 

"How did you know Mr.Pennycrumb was mine?"

"I asked my sister what I could do to make you feel at home. She told me there was a woman who kept track of pets and that they were the closest thing you could have to a family. Klaus knew her, so he took me. You don't seem like a dog person. I would have thought cats since they're so aloof."

"Mr.Pennycrumb was the first friend I ever had."

"I understand."

A comfortable silence settled as Five continued to play with the dog. He found his way between the two people, finding the optimum position for maximum belly scratches. It was unnerving, how easy it was to be with Vanya. Five found himself able to put his guard down just a little which, for him, was strange. Vanya wanted him to be happy. She tried to defend him from her siblings questioning his motives. She was able to let him be alone with her. Strange. Five shot her a glance and decided that, for the second time in his life, he had made a friend. At length, the lights of the apartments beside them clicked off, leaving them blanketed in darkness. They stood, Five scooping up Mr.Pennycrumb, not needing to vocalize that it was time to leave.

  
  


It was impossible to tell the passage of time within the confines of the never-ending night. The sky never  lightened, nor darkened, nor changed in any other quality. The dead were extremely fond of clocks. Five slept on the couch next to the skeleton dog, insisting that Vanya had given him her bed the turn before. He had woken up before his wife, and had been pleased to find that the Land of the Dead had coffee as well as alcohol. He settled into the couch with a filled cup and a borrowed notebook and pen to fill the time. Hopefully, mathematics would center his mind enough that he would be able to work out the problems with the fiance that was still alive. Six cups of black coffee were filled and drained by the time Vanya had woken up, still wearing her wedding gown with her hair pulled into a messy bun. She watched him for a few moments before sitting at a wooden chair placed near her window and pulling out a white violin. She played several experimental notes and looked over to see if she had disturbed Five before diving back into Paganini. Several hours passed in the same way, with Vanya's music providing an easy rhythm in which to work, coming to an end when a knock sounded from the front door. Vanya hadn't even put her violin down before it swung open it reveal Allison.

"Vanya, hi. The director's running late, so rehearsal got pushed back and I was wondering if you would be interested in having breakfast with me. I'll borrow your husband to help carry it?"

Vanya looked delighted at the invitation, and it was obvious that she cherished any time her sister dedicated to her. 

"Of course. I could have just cooked here though."

"Cravings. Anywhere but a restaurant would take too long. Five, let's go." She nodded at him and turned through the door, leaving it open for him.

He had to run to catch up with her head start.

"So, Five, as the person who has solved your problems, I expect that I am now, and always will be, your favorite sibling." She smirked at him. "Ukrainian haunting spell. I've got a bottle in my purse. Now my only problem is what you're telling Vanya. She's bound to notice that you're gone and I'm not letting my little sister think that you've run out on her."

"I'll tell her I'm with one of you." Allison frowned.

"I'm the only one who's in on this. I have work, so I can't, and nobody else will vouch for you. They're not going to let you lie to her, and even if you did, people have a way of getting caught in their own lies."

"I'm not taking Vanya with me. There's not enough time to try to bring an entirely unknown element into the situation upstairs."

"Don't you think she'll realize that you're up to something. You've been here a day and have nothing to do. Most people are still too busy losing their minds on the sidewalk to even care about getting a life at this point."

"So I'm not allowed to leave her? Am I supposed to take her to meet my ex-fiance? Introduce my corpse bride to the family?"

"Or you could tell her the truth. She might not take it well, but Vanya's insecure, not cruel. People leaving her out of the loop always makes things ten times worse anyway. It would be comical if it was happening to other people." A bitter smile found its way onto Allison's glossy lips.

Five remained silent, not willing to argue about the plan. She huffed, clearly not satisfied with his lack of answer. She stalked into the restaurant, leaving him outside, and emerging a few minutes later to shove copious bags of food into his arms. The walk back to the apartment was terse, two pairs of feet pounded against pavement to clear a path from pedestrians. Vanya was either too glad to have a family meal to notice the tension or too stubborn to let that tension ruin perfectly good waffles. Throughout the course of the silent breakfast Allison's eye flickered to the clock hung on the wall until finally she cleared her throat and stood.

"I have to get to the theater, but we need to do this again sometime, I had a lot of fun."

Allison drew up to Vanya to hug her from above and set a red bottle gently in front of her.

"To get back, say hopscotch." Her soft whisper ghosted over Vanya's ear. The door slammed closed, leaving the woman confused about the enigmatic gift.

"Geez, what was all that about."

"I want you to meet my father." Five blurted out. It was an obvious distraction and a bold-faced lie, but he was running out of time. The look of disbelief and jubilance that spread slowly across her face made him wish that it was true. He wanted her to meet his family, and wanted a family worth meeting. Bitter guilt welled in his throat at the thought that she would soon realize that he was a liar.

"O-okay. Is he dying soon?"

"No." The thought of Reginald dying was hilarious. "We'll have to go upstairs to meet him. That's why Allison gave you the potion."

Vanya immediately set to work grabbing cups, unscrewing the lid and pouring two even amounts into each. She held one out to Five.

"Well, cheers." She motioned with hers stiffly, nerves overshadowing the elation of moments earlier, and tipped the drink back.

Velvety black was all Five could see as the spell poured down his throat. Suddenly, his body gave a jumpstart akin to waking from a dream where you fell. He had to dig himself out of the dirt and debris of the forest that covered him. He had no idea how he had ended up in the clearing in the middle of the forest when he had been spirited away on the bridge. It was an effort to stand. Gone was the easy comfort of death as pain tore through him. He remembered from a lifetime ago when his ankle had broken while running through the forest. Giving an experimental roll, it seemed that the ankle was not broken, though it was sprained to hell. It would be fine to walk on for one night. The rest of his body was in equally terrible condition. His joints ached, his heart thundered in his chest as it resumed pumping, working overtime to spread the blood that had settled at the back half of his body, shivers wracked through him as he struggled to create heat after two days of slow death. His blurry eyes came to focus Vanya, who was watching the moon and sky like they would fall.

"It's been so long. You forget what it's like, being down there." 

It took him several tries to regain feeling in a withering tongue.

"Why don't you wait here. I can prepare my father for the news. He might take a while to come around to the idea of a corpse for a daughter-in-law."

"Sure, take as long as you need. I can't wait to meet him."

The trek through the forest was infinitely long, the moon overhead the only indication that time was passing at all. Trees thinned, then thickened, then thinned again until, eventually, the muted flames of the lanterns tacked to the bridge emerged. Five stalked in the cover of shadows, it was imperative that he be neither seen nor recognized by any townsfolk who would no doubt claim they had found the missing groom; there was no time for show while his wife remained in this world. The only consolation of traversing the extravagant mansion was that it was easy to identify the room that belonged to Delores. Third floor. Five took a deep breath and began his ascent. Finally, he dragged himself over her balcony railings. There was noise coming from the inside and Five cracked open the door. Delores was bereft. She was pacing nervously across the room and even with her frantic movement it was apparent that her hands were shaking terribly. Five stood, quietly calling her from the door as to not shock her more than was possible.

"Delores."

"Five! Oh, goodness, Five! What happened. What happened? You've been gone for days, I told them to go looking for you but they didn't. Stay here, I'll get the maid to send for the doctor. You look like death!"

"No- no doctor. You need to get the priest. Don't tell anyone. Get him and bring him back here and meet me in the chapel."

"Five. Tell me what's going on. You left me at our wedding rehearsal and have been gone for two days. They said you ran away with another woman. Now, you show up here half-dead! None of this makes sense."

"I got married on accident, and I'm planning on leaving. Nobody can prove it and if we get married before I disappear you'll get everything. Do you understand, Delores? I'm trying to save you so just go get the priest."

Delores froze in shock, mouth gaping wide and eyes bulging as she stared over Five's shoulder. Five turned back to see what had caused Delores' distress. A dark human form was rising over the balcony, loose fabric and hair billowed in the howling wind that sent the veil obscuring the creature's face, slashing across the air. Time had run out.

"Don't tell anyone I was here!" Was all Five could manage to hiss out before the bones of Vanya's hand clenched around his arm in an iron vice. 

"Hopscotch." 

  
  


The black veil covered his eyes once again as soul left body. They were back in the Land of the Dead, he could tell, because the air had a crisp quality unlike the softness of the world above. Vanya's kitchen came into focus around him. She was sitting at the table with her head in her folded arms, burying her face into them.

"There's someone else?" She sounded as exhausted as he felt. He needed coffee. 

"Yes."

"You married me."

"I didn't mean to. I was engaged to her before we met."

"And you went back."

Vanya didn't wait for his response before she dragged herself out of her seat and into the living room. Five took the time to let her calm down and make a cup of coffee before he followed. By the time he entered she had the white violin tucked snuggly under her chin. Slow, easy movements gained speed fluidly to make a flurry of notes, changing the somber song into a haunting tune that twirled and rose like a carousel. 

Five stood watching her for a moment before his eyes found the piano pushed out of the way in the corner. He moved slowly as to not disturb her while she played and glared at him in contempt. She slowed again, the movements of her bow becoming long strokes to sustain notes, and Five hit the corresponding key. Vanya stopped short and gave pause before coming back and playing with defiance. She would not allow him to drive her away from her one comfort. It was a difficult song that required skill and a keen sense of time to create a feeling of deep nostalgia and wonder. Vanya's glares began to soften after the third replay. Her resolve to punish him for his betrayal fell apart as she sunk deep into self-loathing. It wasn't his fault, after all, that Vanya was boring. Just a day with someone as ordinary as her would have anyone looking for an alternative. Every relationship she had fell apart the same way- there was no getting around that she was the problem. She wasn't talented enough to hold her parent's attention, only to be used as a source of money, unable to be loved, pitied by her friends, a disappointment in every sense of the word. Tears welled in her eyes. There was nothing to be gained by forcing Five to stay with her, he would never love her. The music stopped abruptly, bow dropping to rest beside the corpse's knees. She was no longer able to keep her head up.

"You can leave." It came out as a shaky whisper.

"Vanya."

"I don't want to force you to stay with me. I can't be the reason that you're unhappy. Leave."

"Vanya, I'm not unhappy and I don't want to leave. Delores needs me. I have to fix this."

"It's fine, Five." She put away her instrument, hoping for a distraction that didn't come.

"Vanya, please, listen. Her life is about to be  _ruined._ She's going to die in poverty or spend the rest of her life as a piece of property. There's no telling what kind of man she'll be forced to be with. I told her that I'd spend the rest of my life with her and then I backed out of it. I owe her this, Vanya. She needs help."

"You don't love her?"

"God, no. It was arranged. I only have an obligation."

"But you don't love me either."

"I've only known you for a day. I don't love you, but I could. You're extraordinary, Vanya." He had meant it. She was more than some woman with which he had entered a contract. She was caring, and genuine, and trustworthy, and underneath it all was anger and passion and loneliness. He never wanted her to be lonely again. He was willing to spend his mornings in her periphrials, each working alone but in each other's company. He looked forward to hours spent crowded around a table arguing with her siblings over what counts as cheating. He wanted to spend his nights holding her cold body, stroking his fingers over the exposed bone of her hand while she drifted to sleep. It was impossible to imagine a universe where he did not want these things. From the moment he woke up in the Land of the Dead, married to a corpse, he had been on his way to loving her.

"Please let me fix things with Delores." He would do it no matter what, but it was important that she at least have the opportunity to tell him how she felt. She looked hard at him, finally coming to a decision.

"I'm coming with you." It was the most he could hope for.

"Is there enough of the spell left?"

"If we're careful." Five filled the cups once again, spilling tiny drops with immaculate precision. 

Darkness cloaked Five's sight as he emerged from the dead for the second time that night. The physical injuries his body had sustained still remained, but the shock of reanimation had lessened considerably after several hours alive. Vanya grabbed onto his left arm to support the sprained ankle. The journey through the woods seemed faster with Vanya half-dragging him across the ground at a run. The worn stone of the bridge passed beneath their feet as they entered the city, no longer caring to waste time on hiding. Candlelight glowed from within the chapel windows, casting shadows of the two figures remaining inside. The rehearsal wedding was over. There was screaming and ice gripped Five's chest. He could never allow any man to hurt Delores. Five took Vanya's hand to lead her through the second set of doors into a small vestibule, careful to not draw any attention to either of them. 

"My parents are forcing me to marry you. That in no way means that I shall like or respect you. You are a miserable little man who profits from the misfortune of others and that is something that I will not forgive!"

"Look, we can talk about this all night, but at the end of the day I'm still your husband and you're still my wife. We can be unhappy or you can put this behind you and try to make this work."

At the sound of the man's voice, Vanya tensed so hard that bone dug into Five's hand, piercing hard enough to draw blood. Tears welled in the corpse's eyes as she poked her head into the doorway to watch the unfolding scene. 

"There is nothing to make work. Mister Reginald Hargreeves V will come back for me and the sordid affair of our engagement shall be promptly forgotten. I refuse to believe otherwise." Delores was a statue, unwavering and high above any attempts at congeniality.

"Don't kid yourself. He's probably forgotten all about you. Do you think that you're some kind of tragic love story? The poor mistreated daughter is forced to marry a man who turns out to be everything she needs?  _This_ is real life. It's just you and me, and your precious soulmate is either fucking any whore he meets or dead in a ditch. I'm you husband, I'm your master. You're  _mine"_ The man barely had his hands on Delores before Five was bounding across the floor and launching at him, choking the man while clinging onto his back. The man flailed wildly in vain attempts to stay upright, crashing into pews and walls, smashing into Five as well. He fell backwards, toppling on top of Five who still clung to him. By the time Five had willed his injured body to rise, a sword was pointed at his chest. The man was on his knees and, had it not been for the sword and damaged body, would have been easy to kill. As was, the best course of action was to prepare to dodge the sword once the man decided to stab Five. 

"Well, Delores, looks like you were right after all, he did come back." He was smiling. The psychopath was enjoying toying with them both. "It is just such a shame that he's the jealous type. I've heard about crimes of passion, they go into a fit of rage and end up murdering their lover, and I just... I couldn't let him do that to you."

In a split second he had thrown his arm into a wide arch aimed squarely for Five's chest in a blow that would never reach him. Flesh tore and bone shattered as the sword impaled Vanya's body, coming clean out the other side. He dropped the hilt of the sword in shock at the sight of the woman who was still standing.

"Leonard."

"....Vanya.... That's not possible. I left you."

"For dead."

Vanya pulled the sword out of her own body, hands shaking as uncontainable rage stole over her. There was a single flash as she rammed it into the man standing in front of her before a splatter of blood stained Vanya's hands, running down her gloved arms to pool at the side of her ivory bodice. She fell to the ground. A chill fell over the room. No one moved. Delores get out a shuddering gasp that pulled them out of the hypnosis imposed by Leonard's death. Five moved to Vanya, lifting her off the ground and leaning her weight against him. He grasped at her hand, searching for the cold through the burning slick of blood, telling her that it was okay, to pull herself together, that she was going to be fine. After a few minutes, her sobbing subsided, and Five set her down on one of the pews that filled the room.

"Vanya, it's okay. You're going to be fine. It's okay. It's okay. Are you going to be alright?" He could spend only so long comforting his wife. Already the clock was ticking before someone found them. 

"I'll be fine." He could tell she was swallowing her tears, pushing everything in her mind away until she had the space to deal with it.

Five gave the closest he could manage to a genuine smile before assessing the scene while his mind whirled. There was no way to completely salvage this for everyone. Delores might still be married to the first man that would pay to have her, or else be tied to Reginald for the rest of their overlapping time on this plain of existence. Even then, there was the possibility that Reginald would not agree to the original deal without Five. It was known that Reginald maintained a completely apathetic relationship with his child, so perhaps it would not matter what fate befell Five as long as the ends were achieved. Any choice they took was a risk, one that had dire consequences for the woman in front of him. Five looked up at the woman who had crumpled in on herself, barely standing as tears rolled in streams down her cheeks as she looked at the cadaver slain on her chapel floor. She was obviously not in the state of mind to calculate the best course of action, but there was no other choice. Five would not condemn her to a fate of his own choosing. He eased towards her, resting his hands gently on her shoulders in an attempt to ground her.

"Delores. You need to decide  _right now_ what you want. Do you want to be the daughter-in-law of Reginald Hargreeves or do you want to be married?" In a different context, the question might have sounded innocuous, but the weight of Delores' decision stifled the very air of the room. 

"I-I will go-go forward with the arrangements of my parents."

The path was chosen. Five would die before he ever left this room. 

"Vanya, I need you bring me the first sharp sword you see." Vanya immediately set out to gather what he needed while Five knelt beside the corpse to riffle through it's pockets. After a quick minute of searching, Five found a small velvet pouch inside of which rested two nondescript gold rings. 

"Promise me something," Delores gave a small jerk from where she sat stiffly with her head resting against her hands, "If they take my body,I am to be buried under the large oak in the clearing in the forest. Do you know the one?" At her nod he continued, "Before I am laid to rest, make sure that you are the final person to pay respects, and replace my rings. Put this on." Five slipped the ornate ring that matched that on Vanya's fingers into the thoroughly soaked pouch and handed it to Delores along with the golden one. He mimicked her movements as she shoved the ring on and watched as she carefully hid the pouch in the folds of her dress. There was little more to do until Vanya returned with the sword. She returned at length, decorative longsword in tow. She stood next to Five as he kneeled next to the body, cleanly dragging out the sword. Five was unnaturally calm while he 

not flinching from the sickening squelch of the sword dislodging from the body that held it. Gloves of tacky slick formed up to Five's elbows as he arranged the body before him, impaling it once more upon a stolen sword.

"Listen carefully, Delores. Go to my father and tell him I was gravely injured and died in a duel. Do not speak to anyone else. Reginald doesn't care what happens to me. This was always about status. Tell him you'll connect him to whoever he likes, invite him wherever he likes, if you can have money. If he agrees, everyone else will accept it. He'll pay off the priest to say we were married and name you as my widow." She nodded tearfully.

"Goodbye, Five."

"Goodbye, Delores." A sad smile crept upon her face before she turned away, unable to watch what would happen next.

At last, it was time. There was nothing more he could do to prevent Delores a life of misery, and nothing this world could offer to him anymore. He would get back home no matter what the cost. The silver goblet containing the poisoned wine gleamed in the dying candlelight as Five lifted it slowly to touch his lips. He looked to his wife, hand ready to steady him to create the correct effect of a man dying in a duel. He nodded once. Five tilted his head back and downed the poisoned wine, mere seconds had passed before he felt the effects on his biology, his mind fading fast as he felt the numbed agony of the sword cutting through his chest. He was ready for life to begin again.

  
  



End file.
